Alex McCole

September 27, 2011

Language Arts – Block 1

Before and After

A normal happy kid, playing video games everything was “gravy” until that day. What I did is a very vague memory but I know that what I did was in no way deserving the punishment that was given to me. I merely received a pink slip from school and my dad reacted as if I took the president as a hostage.  The car was full of tension and angry faces that my dad kept making. As my backpack hit the wall I felt the grip of a 200 pound 6’3 man grab my shoulders. Not knowing what to think I start panicking only being in 3^rd grade I don’t know how to act in a situation like this. “What’s the matter with you” says my dad as he’s repeatedly punching me over and over. I hear my mom yell “that’s enough’’ my dad finally leaves and I muster up whatever self positivity and confidence that I have a go talk to my mom. As I’m walking out of my bedroom I can feel the negative energy.  The memory of that night is very vague but I remember I didn’t want to go to school the next day because I didn’t want to get in trouble. Pretty soon after that the beatings got so frequent that after about the 10^th time my body adjusted to it and got used to it. Sometimes I’d go straight home and sit in my room because I knew what was going to happen when my dad got off work and came home.

 As I got older it’s not like the beatings stopped as I became more and more mature the beatings never really affected me so I never Payed attention to them. The beatings never did seize but continued as more of a reminder not to mess up anymore. I didn’t really express myself like I should have but instead I started acting out more and more soon it led to ditching then tagging now look where I’m at JCCS and I’m on probation. These are all the consequences of my rebellion towards my dad. Obviously these decisions didn’t make anything better but they worsened my overall condition. The beatings intensified so much that I started to miss-behave intentionally because I thought my dad would give up on me and let me live with my mom again.

 I`m still holding onto an enormous amount of animosity towards my dad. We had to do a mediation with my dad about a month ago and I broke down everything from the past just came flying “ you can’t change the past but you can arrange the future”  a quote from that day which really made me forgive my dad but to remember that everything happens for a reason. I would like to thank my dad for putting me threw everything because without his abuse I wouldn’t be the young man that I’ve become today.